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| Original text | Using objective language | Objective, concise and scannable |
| Nebraska is filled with internationally recognised attractions that draw large crowds of people every year, without fail. In 1996, six of the best-attended attractions in Nebraska were Fort Robinson State Park (355,000 visitors), Scotts Bluff National Monument (132,166), Arbor Lodge State Historical Park & Museum (100,000), Carhenge (86,598), Stuhr Museum of the Prairie Pioneer (60,002), and Buffalo Bill Ranch State Historical Park (28,644). | Nebraska has several attractions. In 1996, some of the most-visited places were Fort Robinson State Park (355,000 visitors), Scotts Bluff National Monument (132,166), Arbor Lodge State Historical Park & Museum (100,000), Carhenge (86,598), Stuhr Museum of the Prairie Pioneer (60,002), and Buffalo Bill Ranch State Historical Park (28,644). |
In 1996, six of the most visited places in Nebraska were:
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| Usability improvement | 27% more usable | 124% more usable |
Source: Jakob Nielsen Designing Web Usability, p. 105.
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